This week has been stressful. I have been dealing with money issues all week. My husband was not good at managing money and I have been stuck cleaning up his mess. It has taken thousands of dollars and 5 years. And I couldn't have done it without family support and help. This doesn't mean that all the debts are now paid, just that bankruptcy has been avoided and that I think I can manage the remaining debts in the next couple of years. Through all of this I try to remember that money doesn't matter in the eternal scheme of things, and I try to remain grateful for my blessings. The Lord has taken care of us, we don't have any wants that are unsupplied. The real suffering for me is the embarrassment I feel at having people look at me like I have been irresponsible, like this debt is somehow my mismanagement of funds. I know it's not, but all the creditors think it is.
On top of that it is finals week and I am trying to get this semester wrapped up. When I am stressed I have such a hard time getting anything productive done, I just worry until things are resolved. I wrote a final for one of my classes this week. Thank goodness I sat down and took the exam because there were some serious problems with it. I'm just glad I caught them before I handed it out to the students. I hope someday I can look back on this whole situation and laugh or at least feel proud of what I have been able to accomplish. I also hope that someday I will understand what lesson I am to learn from this terribly unfun experience.
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